Valid Excuses

Men do ish then after they've accomplished whatever they wanted to do...they give a "valid excuse" to excuse themselves...

• Women…have you ever been protective of your feelings and then you open up when HE comes along because it just takes too much energy to uphold that hard shell? Or are you the woman who wears her heart on her sleeve and give your heart so easily?

• Women tend to have a “soft spot” for men for some reason…..we forget about Self-Love because somewhere down the line that became a negative thing…a selfish thing….a “nonchalant” type of thing. You put yourself first and accomplish and do what makes YOU happy??? How DARE you! What’s wrong with you having a life just as he and being unavailable when he wants you to be available? Why is it OUR responsibility to find a man and cater to him? Are we not worth seeking after anymore?

      Men tend to persuade women into doing things they don’t want to do or even things they WANT to do but know they shouldn’t be doing, whether it’s sex or a relationship or going somewhere or buying something….pretty much anything. However, once they get the woman to do whatever it is they want her to do, they have this REVELATION (which is regret disguise as one) about how the woman shouldn’t have let it happen. All the while the woman thought they were traveling down this road together….thought it was a mutual thing (don’t we always).  In reality the two were in the same book…just on two different pages. She was STARTING the beginning and writing more chapters and He was at the end…FINISHED with the book. Now how did THAT happen?
      I guess it’s true what they say....men LOVE the chase…ya know like the dogs do…you know how they chase the cat then once they catch up to it and pin it down they have NO clue what to do with it so they either destroy it…or let it go. It’s a shame! Now not ALL men do this…there ARE GOOD men out there…PLEASE let us NOT overlook or forget about those. However, this note is NOT about you (maybe later when I find one I’ll make one about you..but NOT today so no need to take offense). But the PROBLEM is…we have NO-GOOD men actually thinking and believing that they ARE good men. I be wanting to say “What makes YOU so good…man” lol and they usually say because “I’m different” hahahaha “I’ve NEVER heard that before!” *sarcasm* that statement in itself makes you JUST LIKE everybody else.

• Have you noticed how men always take the “short cut” answers when you ask them a question? They answer you but it’s indifferent and can be perceived two ways. But then when you perceive it one way….”Na that ain’t what I meant” but in reality sir…That IS what you meant…that is what you just said minus the BS and sugar coding. Or maybe they answer “You’ll see” which isn’t an answer AT ALL…but is a shortcut or a “valid excuse” to excuse themselves from the question you wanted an answer to, because not even THEY know the answer to the question (but it’s better than lying and being put on blast for it later-I suppose).

      Hmmm…and what about this honesty thing? Men getting REAL bold these days. Honesty/Keeping it REAL is their “valid excuse” to be RUDE….For instance: Man- “I’m gonna keep it 100 with ya…I just want sex not looking for a relationship right now…I have to get myself right first and if you can’t understand that then I’ll find someone else who can.” Woman- “What?” SN: Mind you that these individuals have talked for months, talking texting daily, going on dates, had sex, and basically in a relationship (without the titles…just the actions). But oh Women! That’s where YOU allow them to throw you that “valid excuse” of “We not in a relationship” because there is NO title (I’ll come back to this) so what can you say? NOTHING! In his mind it’s YOUR fault you feel deceived because YOU let it happen, and not his fault that he changed his mind so abruptly about what he wants even though his actions exuding interest in you. In your mind you were doing/showing this man that you wanted him…right? By NOT talking to anyone else, spending time with him, being there for him, cooking for him, and expressing yourself…right? Why? Because if you didn’t then he probably wouldn’t have stuck around as long… right? Because there are too many of you (women) and he can just go elsewhere…whereas in YOUR case it’s not enough of him (men) so you give much of yourself than you should be giving and end up with nothing. And why do you give so much of yourself? Because he probably threw you that “valid excuse” of the fact that there are more women than men and that should be the reason you should act right and treat him good and do what he says. SMH….You probably so fascinated by his status, his looks, his sex, or those promises that you disregard his disrespect for you by putting you on hold by NOT giving you a title or the respect you deserve. Oh and behold if you do NOT give of yourself by showing interest…because then you’re just TOO complicated and they give up and STILL end up wasting your time and disregard the true ways you felt about him because he honestly didn’t know you felt that way because he was not interested enough to be patient and find out. #bummer

• Women we know right off bat how we see ourselves with a man we become acquainted with. We know if we want to screw this man and be fine with just that, we know if we want to possibly marry this man and have his babies, we know if we are curious just to see how things go, or if we are just not interested in this man intimately at all and he would make a fine friend! Lol Just as Men know…..These categories are what lead to titles of “boyfriend/girlfriend” “wifey/hubby” “junt” “buddy” “friend” “sister/brother” etc.

      Hmmm….Titles!? Must we go here? YES because titles are the reason for these “valid excuses” and what men try to excuse themselves from…Nowadays Men want physical satisfaction and women want mental, financial, and/or emotional satisfaction (men really just want a sex slave and women want a relationship-or a sponsor lol.) Now that within itself shows that women want TOO much and men don’t want enough. But is it REALLY “too much”? or is that another “valid excuse” men use to prevent us from getting what we deserve? Women deserve to be loved to be respected to be provided for to be cared for to be fulfilled to be desired…to be LOVED genuinely. Now you have men who do ALL these things…just with ALL the women. How “special” is that? Those are the men who use the “valid excuse” “I’m not ready to be in a relationship, I have self work to do”…now are you REALLY getting yourself together? Or are you just “spreading the love and giving the women what they want and making the unsatisfied ones satisfied?” lol Who deemed you the KING of Satisfaction? Who gave you this duty to be responsible for ALL the unsatisfied women? Can you not just start and be concerned with ONE and give her THE title of being YOUR woman? Nope! Because THEN you would have to back up those words/promises and give ACTUAL answers to your woman and THAT restricts you….right? You can’t spread that love anymore…you would have to SHARE that love over and over again…and that gets boring right? Sure it does! So that’s your “valid excuse” to NOT give the title because you don’t wanna mess up and back up all that talk…but you DO want the sex don’t you? You have more fun TRYING to get the woman to believe you instead of enjoying her trust in you when she believes everything you tell her. Oh dare she lets you know she trusts you and sees a future with you…that’s when she gets let go. The chase is over right? You don’t know what to do? Poor you! so you play along like this is what you want when it’s not….you really want to be a good man with a woman…but you just can’t right? And that’s another valid excuse for some men “I don’t to be with you and not act right….I’m doing this for both of us”…..

• Now in NO way am I TOTALLY putting the blame on Men. Women are to blame too because we allow it to happen. Even the women who are aware of these tricks and lies and this game get fooled too. How? Because of these “valid excuses”! What makes these excuses “valid” is the fact that Women ignore the signs. There are ALWAYS signs and we usually are aware but overthink the possibility of overreacting to certain things because some man told you to “chill out” and when we do “chill out” that’s when the “valid excuses” get by. We don’t want to “run the man away” so we overlook some things, we deal/ignore certain things that bother us, and suck up our emotions because no man wants a nagging woman …right? Of Course not….because there is some dumb woman out there who would happily deal with the foolishness and take your place….then you’re stuck thinking you did something wrong and “maybe it wasn’t that bad”.

      It just amazes me how this happens. Men have so much power over us and there isn’t a thing we can do really…If we knew and really BELIEVED we deserved more and women could actually come together and NOT settle and just not just be grateful a man is conversing with us and showing some kind of interest and if we could recognize as soon as we let our guard down and “stop the chase” he will be done….and it’s way more simple for him than for you because he only needs that one thing (physical satisfaction) whereas you require more needs than he that can only be found in something special…that can really be self-satisfied however you choose to share only to be tossed to the side and found elsewhere because there are too many of you and not enough him…so you take the “valid excuses” only to be used again…by the next man… the next go round… because you being a woman can not stop how you feel and what you want… you only adjust to what he wants only he doesn’t know what he wants and you can only adjust so much before you lose yourself in the process only to become someone who no longer interests him therefore he excuses himself and that change is what makes his excuse valid.